Am I Having Fun Now?: Anxiety, Applause and Life’s Big Questions, Answered by Suzi Ruffell

I like Suzi Ruffell when I see her on things like The Last Leg but unusually for the comedy aficionado I am I’ve never seen her live so I looked forward to Am I Having Fun Now? As a recently diagnosed ADHD person I’ve found many comedians biographies actually strangely comforting. I figured her take on anxiety and the rest might at least give me a chuckle while I nodded along seeing myself in it. This isn’t your standard comedian’s memoir, if such a thing exists, it’s more like a chat with one of your wisest, wittiest mate, but one n which you also see yourself and viewpoints held up.
Ruffell kicks things off by laying bare her own tangle of worries from her fears of being responsible for death as a child to those teenage years where school felt like a breeding ground for her future career, to the grind of breaking into comedy without a posh postcode, Oxbridge degree or accent to smooth the way. She doesn’t sugarcoat the rough bits, and there are a few, I never knew about her love of show tunes. She talks about fumbling through relationships that I think we can all identify with. Throughout the book she turns it all into stories that show her comedy talent as they often land like perfectly timed punchlines.
What makes this book a bit different beyond a solid laugh is how Ruffell weaves in proper wisdom without it feeling like a lecture. Each chapter wraps up with chats from folks like Elizabeth Day on heartbreak hacks or Laura Bates on navigating feminism in a world that still side-eyes working-class voices in the arts. These aren’t dry Q&As; they’re a podcast episode transcript. Ruffell’s own path to coming out, finding love, and dipping into parenthood are handled in a way that you don’t have to have experienced it all to see the lessons learned or understand why things are the way they are.
Ruffell’s book stands out for blending the laughs with real, actionable heart and expert opinions, so as well as the stories and laughs I did genuinely learn things.
Who Should Read This? Fans of heartfelt humour à la Fern Brady or Tom Allen, or anyone needing a reminder that anxiety’s a bully best mocked. Ruffell’s journey is both touching and a reminder to us all that we can overcome, it’s hilarious, honest, and unexpectedly healing, if anything it’s proof that the best therapy might just be a good giggle.